Hello, I've waited here for you.
Your love is my love
NG: I was telling Noelia about this bar that apparently all the girls go to get picked up by young men who works in Finance.
NP: You're already thinking of replacing me when I leave?
NG: Just for like three months! I'm kidding, I promise I won't date some Wall Street asshole while you're in LA.
NP: And I promise not to replace you with some Hollywood Ho.
NG: That sounds like a deal.
I don't even know you anymore.
NP: I'm recovering from this week. 8am to 2am everyday.
NG: Partying with the Nielsen Nerds, I see?
NP: Karaoke... there's a video... of me singing Barbie Girl by Aqua.
NG: I want this video or we're not speaking.
Gurl plz
KF: When is your graduation?
NG: Um, I graduated for almost a year now. I have a job.
KF: OH OOPS I thought we were the same age!
NG: We are, you just took a year off.
Foreign affairs
NG: I didn't know you used conditioner.
NP: I only use it if it's in front of me, like here in this hotel.
NG: I have conditioner in my bathroom and you never use that!
NP: All the bath products in your house are in a foreign language! I never know if I'm washing myself with shampoo or putting shower gel in my hair.
Nerd love and apologies
NP: http://bit.ly/HRy4It
NG: I don't know if that worked.
NP: Wait for it...
NG: I almost spat out my Fresca.
NP: <3 <3 <3
NG: Only you would ever apologize to me with math.
NP: Only you would fall for it.
Tired old soles
NG: ::kicks feet up after long day of walking::
NP: ::starts massaging my foot::
NG: Aww, wow that's so nice of you!
NP: Geez, it's not like I like you or something.
Impersonator!
BBL: Mr. B, is that you? Are you there?
NG: I hate to disappoint but it's Natt on BPL's computer
BBL: Big disappointment. Why are you impersonating BPL?
NG: Haha, need to use Adobe Acrobat and his Yahoo Messenger signed itself in.
BPL: Ok, go right ahead. You are much prettier than BPL anyway.
NG: I hope so!
The Future
JS: Your older doppelganger just walked onto this bus.
NG: My older self would never take the bus!
My Jerkness Is On A Roll
Kids: Free hot chocolate! Free massages! There are cookies too! Come to our holiday fair and help support and raise money for AIDS!
Me: Sorry, heading to the bar, better luck next time.
Why This Man Still Dates Me, I Don't Know
NP: ::touches my face:: Sorry my fingers kinda smell like chicken wings.
NG: You smell delicious!
God Didn't Build Romance In Me
NG: Afterward we drove up to the river and just parked at this empty spot and sat on top of the car overlooking the scenery.
ND & AA: Aww, that's so romantic.
NG: Not really, it was just sitting on the roof of my car. I was covered in a blanket.
ND: This girl...
How NOT To Describe Your First Boyfriend To Your Mom
14-year-old girl: Mom ... ::giggles:: I have to tell you something ... I have a boyfriend.
Mom: Oh? Who is he?
Girl: Um, well, I really wanted you to know ::giggles:: He goes to xyz school, he's my age, my friends met him yesterday after he came to pick me up from my school ::giggles::
Mom: What's he like?
Girl: ::giggles:: well he's 14 but he has a FULL BEARD, like SO much facial hair, he looks like he's 18! That's how we met, you know, I was, like, how are you 14, you're such a liar! ::giggles::
Mom: I see...
Girl: I want you to meet him, mommy! He looks SO old, you won't believe he's 14 ::giggles:: He said he saw you once too, did I tell you he saw you once before?
Mom: What?
Girl: Yeah, he saw you come into the building after he dropped me off at home ::giggles:: ANYWAYS, you'll meet him?
Mom: Ay...sure.
Girl: OH, thank you mommy, I'm so happy! I really like him!
Sexyback
NP: There's a bit of drama at work right now.
NG: Really?
NP: Not people drama, like, department drama ... the media and technology sections are having issues regarding funding allocations.
NG: Do you think you'll ever switch over to tech?
NP: It's not the kind of tech you're thinking of, more like database and analyzing stuff -- it's not sexy.
NG: Yikes.
Making myself feel better
Mom: Have you ever eaten pla ra (Thai fermented fish)?
Me: No. The smell's gross.
Mom: Ha, well you don't remember! When you were a kid, we used to feed you papaya salad with pla ra and you'd eat it with no hesitation!
Me: (deadpan) Duh, I was a baby, I didn't know better. For all I know you could feed me poop and I'd eat it.
Mom: (laughs) Do you always say these silly things to your friends? Maybe that's why your boyfriend likes you.
Me: WHATEVER, YOU THINK I'M CUTE (fake cries).
